inHISgrace.us

Coming right off the intro of the album is the first full song ‘So Conflicted’ (track 2 on the cd). This beat was produced by DJ Naydee out of New York and was definitely a different vibe than anything I had ever flowed on before. The emotional pianos and strings really spoke to me and moved me to share some of my personal testimony on this song. At the very end of post production I got the idea t…o incorporate some of the same piano into the spoken part of the album intro (previous link I shared) and I think it really flowed well together to open the album up. The concept of the song was just to share some of my own experience and perspective of self serving, self medicating and sinful living. That is the message of being so conflicted, feeling empty and really just lost, ultimately crying out for something else, something bigger, something true.

In the 2nd verse I touched on a different avenue that I’ve travelled in my life. The self ambitious pathway to prove our own worth and ‘establish’ ourselves. I thank God for showing me my need for Him from so many unique angles. This is an illustration of a hugely pivotal moment in my life. Recognizing and realizing I can’t build it with my own hands and when I try it will eventually come crashing down. This brings the moment of bent knees, teary eyes and a broken heart… so convicted.

The 3rd verse looks at things after surrender. Some of the pressures and outside opinions that come with the territory of walking with the Lord. The curiosity and speculation that builds in people observing the new creation, finally leading to the unveiling of the reason and Master Architect of the transformation.

The sinner’s prayer was added as an afterthought. I don’t believe that it’s the prayer itself that solidifies or commemorates the moment of salvation. I personally have said many prayers of surrender over the years. In some church circles there is too much of an emphasis on “How long have you been saved?”. It’s almost like “How long have you been from this gang?” or “How long have you been at this job?”. I can remember saying “the prayer” in 11th or 12th grade after battling some crazy addiction pitfalls and what seemed to be demonic stuff, but the truth is I wasn’t ready to surrender. I’m a stubborn dude so maybe it’s just me but it wasn’t until my heart really committed all aspects of my life to God that I sincerely began walking with Christ, that I really became a new creation. People say a lot of things with their words but God knows the truth of our hearts. The prayer I say at the end of this song is the actual prayer I said when I truly and whole heartedly surrendered my life and everything in it to Jesus. This is the word for word prayer led by Pastor Ed at the Packinghouse. This was the real deal for me and that’s why I decided to include it. These words can be the vehicle to accept Christ into your life and soul but your heart must be aligned with your words…